The Art of Deduction
by cmartlover
Summary: "River Song was a professor of archaeology and she dabbled as a detective, with 51st century technology at her expense. If anyone was well-suited for the task of helping the Doctor find Clara Oswald, it was his wife." Multi-chapter fic. Post-The Snowmen.
1. Enigma

**Author's Note: So this is the beginning of a multi-chapter fic that I came up with last night while watching ****_The Snowmen_**** for the second time. This is sort of my way of dealing with that episode.**

**Hope you enjoy it. And remember, there is more to come.**

***Additional Note*(6/14/13)- I just want to stress that this entire fic was written prior to the broadcast Series 7 part 2. When I wrote it, I tried to weave my Clara speculation and canon elements in whenever possible. This fic assumes that the post-The Snowmen Doctor was NOT post-Towers , after TNOTD, it is clear that he would have been. So, essentially this fic has become slightly AU...but trust me, if you ship 11/River it's still worth a read.**

* * *

Resting his hand against the flat surface of the TARDIS scanner, the Doctor fingered the image of Clara Oswin Oswald, the girl who had been clever enough to get a weary old man back on his feet.

"You watch me run, Clara Oswald…" he repeated, this time as a vow, a promise to her that he would go across the universe and back again just to find this mysterious, amazing, twice-dead woman.

But the more the Doctor pondered it, the harder he found it to go from there. Where did he start?

He'd been at this for a good few hours or possibly even days; he couldn't really tell the difference, not when he'd been thrust from the very stationary state of isolation straight to his typical flying-about-the-universe routine.

"Where do I look Old Girl?" his voice possessed a hint of uncertainty.

For all it was worth, the Doctor's hearts were practically bursting, thumping far more quickly than the rest of his body could keep up with.

"Come on, Sexy, show me your files on Clara Oswin Oswald." The screen immediately shifted from the picture of Clara to a rather lacking description.

"Right, so, let's see, 'Clara Oswin Oswald. Born 23rd November 1866. Died 24th December 1892. No further information available.' Really? Is that all you've got? Because I already knew _that_!" Running his hands through his hair, the man in the bow tie became frustrated.

The process was bound to be tedious, he knew. But strangely enough this young barmaid-turned-governess had intrigued him, calling forth a liveliness that he hadn't thought he'd ever regain.

Out of all the endless possibilities, Clara had encountered the Doctor twice and perished both times. Based on previous experience, there was absolutely no way those meetings could have been coincidental. In essence, the truth was undeniable: something was drawing them together.

"But what? And why? Who is she?" these questions reverberated through his mind, and it wasn't until after a momentary pause that the Doctor realized he'd spoken aloud.

He released a tired sigh, his mind scouring over ideas on what to do next.

"No, I am NOT sulking! Just a bit irritated. The one time I finally find a companion she just has to go off and die, not just once, but twice. TWICE. Honestly, I don't know what she'd playing at…" Fingering the TARDIS controls, the man in the bowtie huffed.

A sudden jolt caused him to lurch backwards and yelp in confusion.

"Wh-what…what was that for?" the Doctor retorted to his unruly ship.

In a matter of seconds, the TARDIS hummed backed in response, regaining its former status.

Without thinking, the Doctor found himself steadying the smaller-on-the-outside box, pressing various buttons and such until his fingers slipped, falling onto a very out of place object.

A book.

One glimpse sent his hearts racing, a sort of melancholy pain seeping into them.

He withdrew Amelia's precious reading glasses from his pocket, trying to dismiss any further doubts that he was hallucinating.

Bringing the novel closer to his eyes, the Doctor reexamined the title.

_'Melody Malone.'_

A stab of guilt rushed through his body as he forced himself to take in the illustration of his wife.

"Stop it! Stop it, Old Girl. I thought I…I thought I put this book…back…in….in…Amy and Rory's room…" he stumbled on that last bit, covering his face as he placed the book back on the console. "Wh-why are you doing this to me?" his voice quivered as he spoke, the familiar vulnerability returning once more.

The image of River Song with her dark fedora, nearly tangible curls, and that _yowzah_ dress caught his eye again, causing his pulse to escalate.

"No, no I am not thinking about…I'm not going to…I mean…" the Doctor stuttered, his arms flailing in the air.

_'Go to her my Thief. Go to my Child. She can help you.' _The TARDIS spoke softly, gnawing at the very core of the man's soul.

His face flushed at this and he saw the truth in those quietly spoken words.

River Song was a professor of archaeology and she dabbled as a detective, with 51st century technology at her expense. If anyone was well-suited for the task of helping him find Clara Oswald, it was his wife.

And the more he thought about it, the more he realized how much he needed to see her. For various reasons, some of which he loathed coming to terms with.

"Oh, you're right, Old Girl. B-but what if she…what if she doesn't…I mean…"his babbling continued, circulating through the dark interior of his ship.

_'Go to her.' _The phrase repeated in his mind, urging him to do what needed to be done.

The Doctor's eyes returned to the TARDIS scanner, and he watched as Clara's picture reappeared, stimulating the exhilaration that had only recently come back into his life.

"Fine. You know I never could resist a good mystery…or a chance to see the Missus for that matter. Alright Old Girl. If you insist…"

* * *

Clasping her books to her chest, the curly haired professor traversed across the long, elaborate corridors of the building.

After an incredibly lengthy week, River Song was relieved to have a break.

Her body ached all over, her eyes pealing over in exhaustion - a living testament of her fatigue.

Ever since she'd returned to the Luna University following the events of Manhattan, her life had literally become her work. She worked and labored and toiled and taught until she could drown out the heart-wrenching pain of losing her parents, the constant fear of her husband's state of mind, the inevitability of the coming day that she dreaded more than anything.

It was her way of coping apparently. Instead of moving into isolation she overworked herself to the point that she could scarcely function, to the point that the prospect of sleep was the only thing that appealed to her. In the past few months alone, she'd added teaching night classes to her already overwhelming course load.

Now, at the end of this torturous period of final exams and such, River Song wanted nothing more than to collapse into bed at that very moment, to ignore the constant nagging that she felt on her husband's behalf.

_Just a little further. The flat's just round the corner. _She reminded herself, trying to regain the motivation necessary to do what needed to be done.

Recognizing the TARDIS blue entrance to her apartment, River quickly shifted her books to one hand, using the other to prop open the door.

"Ah, home at last." She sighed, turning her head slightly upon entering the dark room.

Although her brain was practically short-circuited for the most part, it didn't take much for her to get the sense that she wasn't the only person in the general vicinity.

A chilling fear swept her body, her acute senses coming to light.

If her days with the Silence had done anything for her, they had helped her develop a keen wit.

"Hello…is…is…anyone…there…"

Cautiously, River maneuvered through the darkness, flicking on the light switch ever so slowly.

The sight before her was quite daunting to say the least. Whatever aspirations she had to sleep were dashed instantly.

Startled, she couldn't help but step back, her books falling to the floor below.

"D-Doctor?" her voice sounded surprisingly weak as she drank in the vision of her husband who had perched himself on the nearby seat, his legs crossed and resting on the surface of the desk.

This was obviously an older Doctor; she could see it in those ancient, yet lively eyes, that love-filled expression, the subtle lines lining his forehead, the way he carried himself.

"Long time no see, Honey." He declared smugly, managing that goofy smile she absolutely adored.

"Hello Sweetie. You look…well. Surprisingly. Though I have to say, the hat doesn't really suit you." River quipped, her heart racing at the way her husband stared straight at her.

At that, he arose from his chair, fingering the flaps of his Sherlock Holmes hat with fondness.

"Oi! Don't insult my hat within the first minute of the conversation, wife!"

River rolled her eyes.

"Okay, down to business. You've done Manhattan, I presume?" she questioned, already knowing the answer.

A flicker of pain flashed in the Doctor's eyes and River almost regretted her bluntness. Almost.

"Yes." His voice was low and gruff and he looked anywhere but her face.

"How long has it been for you?"

"Months? Years? How am I supposed to know? You?" her husband counteracted, now standing within a foot of her.

"About ten months." Despite wanting to handle the situation nonchalantly, she couldn't seem to hide the tremor in her voice.

"River…" his tone grew high-pitched, sympathetic.

"Anyway so I see you're not sulking anymore. Life in isolation on a cloud in Victorian London get too boring for you?" Drawing upon her own internal worries, River watched her husband become very uneasy.

"For your information…I….wait…how'd you know about that…" he raised an eyebrow.

"Madame Vastra was kind enough to keep me informed. And I popped in on you once. Don't you remember?"

"Bad day. It's all a bit of a blur." The Last of the Time Lords shrugged, trying to avoid her gaze.

"But you're feeling better now I take it? Out of retirement?" Her fingers straightened his bow tie, causing a rosy blush to form in his neck.

"Y-y-yes." He stuttered, hands suddenly flailing about. Scratching his cheek nervously, the Doctor began to explain.

"I…um…met this girl…this clever, brilliant amazing girl…Clara…" River watched in awe as his entire face started to glow.

This wasn't much of a surprise.

"I take it she's something special then, judging by the way you're blushing." There was a hint of sadness in her voice, though it was scarcely detectable.

"No, River, it's not like that…that's not why…I'm…you…" he stared awkwardly at her, his fingers absentmindedly stroking his hair.

"Go on."

"Well, there…um…I…well….I asked her to come away with me…"Stopping, the Doctor waited hesitantly for her response.

For a mere moment, silence resonated between them.

"Honey, that's… wonderful! Glad to see you're finally coming to your senses." A smile crept across her face, and in one respect she was genuinely happy for her husband. When he didn't seem so excited, River began to grow concerned. "Sweetie, what is it? What's wrong?"

"Well…I…ah…um…she…well…she…kissed…me…and I may have…blushed…" His breath puffed out in short bursts. "And also…I may have said that I was her…erm…gentleman friend…and some other things may have transpired…" Snapping his eyes shut, the Doctor fully expected his wife to slap him.

It seemed to take her a second to process his words.

"I see…well, it's not as if it hasn't happened before. I mean my _mother_ tried to seduce you…" a hearty laugh escaped her throat, but deep down a shot of pain swept through her gut.

_Stop it! You're being irrational. It happens. And after all those times you used your hallucinogenic lipstick…you have no right to feel this way._

She hadn't even realized the implications of her words until a flicker of hurt transpired in her husband's eyes.

"Sorry, Doctor…I didn't mean…"

"No, really, that's okay; I should be the one apologizing…" his blue-green irises gazed directly into hers, his hand brushing against hers, making a warm sensation spread in her body.

"Oh, it happens…I understand…"

"River…I…" he stroked her palm, speaking in a tender whisper. She could feel the color seeping into her cheeks, so she hastily turned her face away.

"So when do I get to meet her?" Professor Song changed the subject in a flash.

"Well…um…that's kind of why I'm here…you see…she's…erm…sort of…dead. And as it turns out, I well…I met her once before when y-your p-parents and I went to the Dalek Asylum. She got turned into a Dalek and she also died there. But somehow she ended up in the Victorian era and now that she'd died twice…I'm…trying…to…erm…find her again."

"That's why you came to me." River surmised.

"Erm…yes? Well, I thought your archaeological and detective skills might be…um…useful. So, will you help me find the whereabouts of Clara Oswin Oswald, Professor Song?"

"I'd be happy to, my love."

Despite her own worries and fatigue, River Song found herself giving in quite easily.

After all, she'd never been able to resist that adorable baby face of his.

* * *

**Note: Hope you enjoyed it so far. Please take this time to leave a review:)**

**Have a wonderful day!**


	2. Reveal

**Author's Note: First, I want to say thank you for all the favs/follows/reviews:)**

**So, this chapter is really how I've been wanting to write this fic the whole time. The first chapter was honestly just an intro. This one is much, much better, at least in my opinion. But do be aware that the tone often switches frequently due to the fact that River often hides her true feelings. Hope you enjoy it.**

* * *

For a second, the man in the bow tie just simply stared at his wife, as if astonished by the fact that she was actually willing to help him.

"Doctor? You alright?" a concerned voice suddenly snapped him out of his odd state of mind.

"What? Oh, yes, perfectly fine—"

"Right then. We need to get to the University library. Where's the TARDIS?" she asked, now very focused on the task at hand.

"Right this way, dear." His finger pointed towards the door in the back corner. "You'll be pleased to know that I didn't even leave the breaks on." Straightening his bow tie, the Doctor shot her a smug grin.

"Oh, of course. You landed her in the bedroom." River watched as her husband's face turned beet red.

"River…I didn't…for your information…the Old Girl chose the landing spot herself…I had nothing to do with it…"he spluttered, surprised to see that his wife was already making her way through the pull-to-open doors of the police box. "Wait…Honey…you might not want to…"

But it was too late, for by that point the curly haired archaeologist had made her way into the dark blue confines of the time machine.

Stiffening, the Doctor half-expected her to react adversely, though instead he found that she didn't seem to react at all.

Her hands went straight to the scanner, her fingers deftly typing coordinates as if she owned the place.

"But…River…I thought…"

"Yes, dear, I do realize that you've redecorated. I'm sure you'll have a lovely time showing younger me at some point." She spoke with a breezy confidence, and yet there was something in her voice that unnerved him.

"So you mean…you've already seen it…but how did you know—"

"Because you can't bear to remind yourself of the loss. I realized that as soon as I saw you. New wardrobe. So the logical deduction would be new TARDIS as well. And yes, I've seen this console room before. But I didn't understand why you'd changed it at that the time. It was before…you know…" her face became stoic, and she clutched the scanner just as she had done after Manhattan, feigning an unaffected façade.

Even then, her husband was not blind to the flicker of pain in her blue-green eyes, a pain that echoed his own. The loss of her parents affected her more than she cared to admit.

"So do you like it?" he inquired gently, trying to change the subject for her sake.

"Like what?" River's voice scarcely waivered.

"You know…my new look!" the Doctor spread his arms outward like an eagle, a childish smile etched across his face in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Feeling his wife scan him up and down, the Time Lord couldn't help but blush.

"I see you decided to lose the hat." She arched a brow approvingly.

"Well…I'm afraid my wife didn't approve. Never was one to disappoint the Missus."

"Oh, really?" her eyes narrowed and he could practically hear the gears spinning in her head, as she recollected all the times he had done just that.

"Shut up." He mumbled beneath his breath.

"I didn't even…" was her quick response.

"Yes, but you were thinking it. Which brings me back to my original question. Do you like it?" her husband implored her with his irresistible baby-face.

"Hmmm…I think I need a closer look."

"Take all the time you need, love." His expression beckoned her to come closer.

"Cheeky, today, are we, husband?" her warm breath laced his ear as she began to stroke the fabric of his bow tie.

"Riv—"

"Let's see…glad you kept the bow tie…and what else do we have here? Is this a waistcoat and a purple frock?" Fingering his new jacket, River managed a tiny smile.

"So…"

"Yes."

"Yes _what_?" he stuttered nervously.

"Yes I like it you idiot. Though I can't say it's the first time I've seen this look."

It took him a moment to understand the implication of her words.

"What? Then why did you have to…"

"I do love to see you blush." She winked with that suspicious gleam in her eye, causing her husband's hearts to pound all the more.

"Oi! Just…Shut up, wife." Raking his fingers through his hair, the Doctor tried to ignore the intensity of her gaze.

"Not a chance, husband." River nudged him playfully before turning back to her work. In less than a second, her demeanor went from flirtatious to serious.

Pressing a button near the scanner, the Doctor's wife watched as the photo of Clara Oswald flickered back onto the screen.

"She's very pretty, and young, for that matter. I can see why you like her. Nice girl, too, if I remember correctly." There was a hint of sadness in her voice, though she tried her very hardest to conceal it.

"What, you mean…you've met her…"

"Spoilers." It was the forced response, one that sprung out of years of pain and secrets and lies.

Oh, how he loathed that word.

"River, I just want you to know that…" his voice quivered and he struggled to finish his sentence.

A small rumble suddenly rushed through the TARDIS, causing River to clench her jaw..

"River…"

"Oh, look at that. We're here. Finally. And let's put the Old Girl on invisible setting just in case…" quickly flipping a switch, the curly haired woman took the extra precautions needed to ensure that they were not to be observed by anyone else. "Right then. It's the middle of the night, so I doubt anyone will be a bother to us. But just in case, I always carry my gun." Her hand hovered her waist, where, the Doctor deduced, she must have been concealing her weapon.

"'Course." He mumbled to himself, shaking his head slightly, but secretly glad to be facing potential danger with his beloved wife, gun and all.

Once they'd veered out of the little blue box, the man in the bow tie couldn't help but peer in wonder at the elaborate interior of the expansive library.

His hearts twisted as he recalled a familiar sight, a place teeming with books galore—the very place he'd met his wife for the first time. Perhaps one of _the_ saddest days of his life.

"Why the library?" he asked, wishing they had gone someplace else.

"Because it's the best place to do this sort of research. 51st century databases are quite useful. Besides, it's a lovely sight, isn't it? So peaceful…silent even…"

"Yeah." Memories of the Vashda Nerada and Professor River Song and CAL and the stench of death pounded through his mind, making the Doctor feel rather sick.

"It was modeled after one of the numerous rooms in the Library planet. And if this is just one room; I can only imagine what the rest of the planet must be like…I'd love to go there someday. Legend has it the place has been silent for a hundred years." The sound of pure excitement and wonder in her voice made the Doctor want to scream internally. Apparently, she must have sensed his unease. "You alright, Doctor?"

"I'm always alright." Closing his eyes, the Doctor pretended to yawn, casually wiping his eyes at the same time. "Just…something in my eye…"

His wife stole another glance at him and decided not to press the subject.

Motioning towards the digital screen at the back of the room, River Song perched herself beside it, ushering for her husband to follow.

"Okay, let's see then…" River started, her fingers tapping on the surface of the wooden desk, causing a holographic keyboard-like instrument to appear. "Clara Oswin Oswald, right?"

"Y-yes."

"That's just a name though. Is there anything else I should know that will help narrow the search? Just tell me about her my love." Placing her hand on her husband's, River hoped to give him the motivation to speak. "Oh, and… feel free to stand up…you think better when you pace around."

"Fine. If you insist." At River's suggestion, the Doctor propelled himself upwards, before beginning to move about in circles. "So…Clara Oswin Oswald. When I first met her at the Dalek Asylum, she told me she was a Junior Entertainment Manager for the spaceship Alaska, which had crashed on her first time out. She called herself Oswin then, not Clara. Oswin enjoyed listening to opera and making soufflés, as well as being a computer genius. This girl was so smart that she was able to get the Daleks to forget me. The Daleks, River, my greatest enemies, and they didn't have the faintest idea who I was!" His eyes lit up just thinking about it.

"Yes, dear, back to Oswin…"

"Right. Oswin…the strange thing is that I never saw her face, even though I heard her voice. It wasn't until later that I discovered she had been given a full conversion. She'd been turned into a Dalek because of her genius. But she'd dreamed up delusions of humanity for herself since the truth was too terrible; too awful to accept. She almost tried to exterminate me when her Dalek instincts kicked back in…but against all odds her humanity triumphed and she gave her life to save me and your parents. I owed her everything, and yet, I'd never even seen her face. As she was dying, she told me to remember her. She said, and I quote her exactly, 'Run you clever boy. And remember.' Okay, River, that's probably the most important part, so take note of that." Stopping briefly, the man in the bow tie caught his breath.

"Sounds like she knew you from somewhere before." River commented, typing something into the device in front of her.

"I know. I didn't think much of it then, but now, I'm not so sure. As for Clara, well, I didn't realize who she was right away. She was just some barmaid-slash-governess living in Victorian London who suddenly became interested in me when we had a bit of a run in with a carnivorous snowman. Long story. I'd thought that had been the end of it, until she started to follow me. Vastra kept phoning me and trying to set something up but I wasn't having any of it. All I wanted to do was get back to the TARDIS."

"And do what, sulk all day?" River interrupted him, a hint of anger detectable in her voice.

"No, no…I was going to read my book." The Doctor declared indignantly, crossing his arms.

"While the rest of the universe needed saving? Sounds like sulking to me." She raised a brow.

"Oi. Shut up…but that's beside the point. You see, Clara was very persistent. She just wouldn't give up. Vastra and Jenny got hold of her and gave her the one word test. I'd instructed them to do that because I doubted there would be anyone clever enough to make me think they were actually worth my time. Boy was I wrong. When Vastra called me, I was having quite a lovely time _reading my book_, and she told me she'd given Clara the one word test. Of course, that got my curiosity peaked, so I had no choice but to ask her what she'd said. It was the last thing I'd ever expected." His throat caught momentarily, as he recalled the astonishing effect of that simple word.

"Well? What did Clara say?"

"Pond." The Doctor huffed out, looking his wife straight in the face.

Her reaction was too quick to be hidden. For a second, River Song stopped moving altogether, her eyes growing watery.

It was amazing how that word could render both of them speechless in an instant.

"Of course."

"And in that moment, as I took your mother's reading glasses off my face…I…I…I remembered them. Properly acknowledged the reality I'd been fleeing from for some time. Amelia and Rory Pond. And you too, Melody. And from then on, I knew, I just knew, River…Clara was the one. The only one. I hadn't even realized she was Oswin at that point, either. As it turns out, Clara was actually referring to a pond, little 'p', that had been frozen over for too long and inhabited by a dangerous ice governess. But, nevertheless, that was exactly what I needed to hear to get back on my feet."

He paused again, before continuing.

"Well, to make a long story short…which, in fairness, I seem to be quite rubbish at…I mean…_anyway_…I did a bit of sleuthing as Sherlock Holmes…that didn't end well…found out the carnivorous snowmen were being controlled by some sort of intelligence reflected from the thoughts of a little boy…I'll get to that later…and after some bickering with Strax, I finally got round to contacting Clara, which, also didn't go according to plan. We were being chased by that ice governess and between getting to the TARDIS, she kissed me, I said I was her gentleman friend, and then she fell on top of me…but don't worry, River, not like _that_…Later we found the ladder to the TARDIS, but she made me go first. 'Eyes front, soldier,' she said, which was really rather pointless because anybody who knows me knows that I'm the pinnacle of discretion…My eyes are always front." Rising to straighten his bow tie, the Doctor tried to sound confident. He failed atrociously.

A hearty laugh escaped River's throat.

"Oh, really?" she chuckled, her tone giving off an air of mockery.

"Yes, really!"

Wrong answer.

"So, husband, remind me again what attracted you to the Melody Malone book."

"I liked the cover!" the Doctor spoke quickly, realizing his mistake as soon as the words came out.

"And what, _feature_…should I say, was most attractive about that cover…" Adjusting her blue-colored dress, River Song tried to disprove her husband's point.

"I…you…Shut up, River!" his cheeks swelled with color.

"And as I recall…there are other incidents too numerous to count, beginning with 'hello Benjamin,' followed by—"

"Shut. Up."

"Oh, that's just scratching the surface…"

"No, no, don't even start. Fine. _Fine_, River. Let me rephrase. My eyes are always front except for when my wife's in the room. There, happy?" he put on his best pouty face, but instead it just made him look like a sentimental idiot.

"Mmm. Hmmm. Now, you were saying?" her voice sounded high-pitched, alluring, as she crossed her legs purposefully and lounged in the chair, sifting a hand through her wild curls.

As usual, her tactics proved to be _very _effective.

"I was… I was…you…I…what?" his mouth opened and closed like a fish.

"You know…before I distracted you…"

"Yes, right, I mean…no, what are you talking about? You never distracted me…I was just thinking for a moment…"

"That sure didn't look like your thinking face. But anyway, back to _Clara_…" She emphasized the last word.

"Clara?" The confused man muttered; his eyes still glued to his wife.

"Yes, dear, Clara Oswin Oswald?"

"What? I mean…of course I know who you're talking about. Where was I?"

"You told her your eyes were always front."

"Ah, yes. I see. So, then we climbed into the TARDIS, and she was quite surprised. Only she shocked me even more because she said it was 'smaller on the outside,' rather than the usual. After that, she asked whether the TARDIS had a kitchen, apparently because she liked making soufflés…and that's…that's when I began to realize who she was. I gave her the key to the TARDIS and we were about to go off when suddenly out of nowhere the ice governess grabbed her and she fell all the way to the ground. Strax managed to keep her alive a bit longer, but we all knew she wasn't going to make it. In the end, she saved the earth, with my help, of course. But, unfortunately, she was dying. Before she drifted away completely she said something very familiar to me."

"'Run, run you clever boy and remember,' am I right?"

"Yes. What really got me though was her gravestone. I'd known her name was Clara, but when I read her full name, 'Clara Oswin Oswald,' I remembered and it all came together. Because somehow, River, she isn't dead. She's out there, alive, and waiting for me…I don't know how, but…"

"You only know _who_." His wife finished for him, a sort of tiredness present in her voice. "I…think…I understand now. Why she's so special to you."

"River, she was the only person able to drive me out of isolation. And she never gave up, even when I rejected her." The Doctor's voice began to fill with emotion.

"And for that, I am truly grateful." River spoke quietly, stroking her husband's cheek.

"There's something else you might need to know. She was born on the 23rd of November, 1866. She died on Christmas Eve, 1892. The inscription on her gravestone said, 'Remember me for we shall meet again.'" He watched as River hastily removed her hand from his face and went back to typing. "And that's…that's about all I know…"

"Alright, that should show us something important." Her gaze never left the screen. "Let's see then, what do we have _here_?" She scanned the information as best she could. "Not much, but…oh, that's interesting…" whipping out a pair of Harry Potter glasses identical to those the Doctor used, River Song examined the fine print more closely.

"River…"

"Doctor, look at this. I typed in the name and birth and death info. But there was no birth certificate found. This database archives the birth information of nearly every human being who's ever lived…so why can't I find anything on her? Unless…maybe someone hacked it…or else…"

But her husband hardly listening; his hearts pounded at the sight of his wife in those glasses.

"There's something else too…about that birthdate…it seems familiar…" River continued to search through the possibilities, that was, until she realized her husband hadn't once responded. "Doctor?"

Turning to face him, the curly haired woman watched the conflicting emotions flicker in his eyes as he gazed at her straight on.

Her heart thudded at that intensity of his stare.

"Doctor?"

"Where did you get those reading glasses?" he asked softly, his intent difficult to assess.

_Ugh…I should've just kept these hidden…_

"Birthday present."

"From who?" it was a seemingly innocent question, but one that couldn't be easily answered.

"Spoilers." The sides of her mouth curved upward in an attempt to distract him. "So, as I was saying—"

"Why do you need them?" her husband obviously didn't want to change the subject.

"You'll laugh." Her cheeks flushed as she looked away from him.

"No, I won't. Why would I laugh?"

"Because my bloody eyesight's not as good as it used to be. There, I said it. Satisfied?" She stiffened. "I'm aging, Doctor, in case you didn't notice. Sorry that my ugliness is surprising to you."

"Wh-what? River, I never…" The Doctor seemed genuinely hurt by her assumption.

"But you were thinking it. 'Look how noticeable those glasses make the lines look under her eyes,' that's what you were thinking." Her voice quivered as she spoke.

"No, River, you're completely wrong, I wasn't…"

"It's obvious, Doctor. Why else would you have been staring at me like that?" River surmised sadly, unwilling to meet his eyes.

"Still wrong."

"Then, what were you thinking? 'Look at River, I wish she was more like one of my pretty young female companions.'" She regretted the words the moment she said them.

"River…how…how could you possibly think that?" his voice waivered. "I…am…so, so sorry…"

Placing his fingers around the edge of the glasses, he brought his face closer to hers.

"You know what I was thinking? I saw those glasses and I loved how they brought out your eyes. And do you know what I said to myself? I said, 'my wife has the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen.' And once I realized that it was rather difficult to stop staring, there was something else I suddenly wanted to do very badly."

With a sort of ancient grace, the man in the bow tie removed the glasses from her face, before brushing his fingertips overtop the lines beside her eyes.

"And what would that be?" Melody Pond boldly asked, her body beginning to tremble at the sensation of her husband's intimate touch.

"This." The single-word response escaped his throat, a gruff, husky whisper, making River's ears turn bright red.

Leaning down, the Doctor cupped her cheek with his hand, using the other to stroke her hair as he bent down to press his lips against hers.

The kiss was sweet, yet passionate, calling forth desires in both of them that had been suppressed for far too long.

Her husband clung to her, feeling the warm droplets cascading down River's face, his hand running through her curls as their hearts beat in unison, forming a breathtaking melody that neither had heard for months.

Slowly, the Doctor drew back to catch his breath, a satisfied grin in place.

"Wow. I've forgotten how much I missed this. And I was right."

"About what?"

"You." He smiled, his gaze never once leaving her.

"What about me?"

"Well, let me just say that Clara was a pretty good kisser, but you, _you_, River Song, are infinitely better. _Yowzah!_ That was a _spectacular_ kiss!" For no apparent reason, the Doctor suddenly clapped his hands together with a gleeful delight.

"Doctor?"

"And don't you ever call yourself ugly again, wife. Because you most certainly are not ugly." Grasping her hand, her husband pressed it to his chest, just above his hearts. "Now tell me, Honey, what do you feel?"

"Y-your hearts." She stuttered, almost embarrassed with herself.

"And how fast are they beating?"

"V-very, very fast."

"Now, I'm not a medical expert or anything…scratch that, actually I am…but anyway, I'd say that tells us something. You may not think you're beautiful, but I think your husband very much does. And that's just going off of my heartbeats…which, I might add, are completely involuntary. So what do you gather from that?" the Doctor smirked, beckoning her to answer.

"I'd gather that you didn't just come here to do research."

"Well, I confess that was one of my reasons…but now that I think about it, I'd say you're right, Mrs. Doctor." With that, he placed his arms around her waist, about to pull her in for another kiss, when suddenly something very unexpected happened.

In a flash, every light in sight flickered off, leaving nothing but the bright screen beside them to shine.

"What was that?" River wondered, her body beginning to tremble despite her attempts to stay calm.

"I…I…don't…know…but I'd say that it was something very not good."

A wave of silence passed between them, causing the tension to mount in the room.

Whipping his sonic out of his pocket, the Doctor began to scan the general area.

"That seems like a wise move my love, but…I'm…I'm…afraid there's no need."

Sensing the fear in his wife's voice, the man in the bow tie maneuvered his hand in the darkness until he found hers.

"River, what is it? Tell me?"

"This screen."

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Look what it says." Gulping, River Song heard her husband gasp as he read the flashing red font which had filled the screen with three simple, yet powerful words:

_'WINTER IS COMING.'_

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**Note: I guess I'll try to delve deeper into that mystery next chapter. This one was really intended to be more relational. Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed it. Feel free to check out some of my other stories, which are posted on my profile page. **

**Please take this time to leave a review.**

**Have a wonderful day!**


	3. Connections

**Author's Note: Hello, everyone! So, yeah, I'm finally updating something (for the first time this month, I think). I've been wanting to write more, but have unfortunately been pretty busy. Thank you again to everyone who has reviewed/favorited/followed this story. I really appreciate it. Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

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For a moment, the two stood motionless, hearts pounding as their eyes locked onto the screen.

"Doctor, what's happening? What does it mean, 'Winter is Coming'?" River whispered as her husband's hand tightened around hers.

"River, I think you need to head back to the TARDIS." His voice sounded low and gruff, authoritative.

"Why? What are you going to do?"

But he didn't answer her, instead whipping out his sonic, frantically trying to scan the area and turn everything back to normal.

"Why are you still here? I told you to go!" the Doctor snapped, quickly turning to face his wife.

"Well, I'm not leaving. Not when I've got_ this_." Pulling out her portable computer, the curly haired woman began to assess the situation. "Right, then. Scans suggest that something's taken control of the network…and the electricity. Think you can override it?" She asked her husband frenziedly.

"Umm…well…I'm sort of working on it…" a series of frustrated grunts escaped his throat, indicating that he wasn't making much progress. The little green light of his screwdriver spun around in mid- air. "River, any luck on tracing the signal?"

Biting her lip, River reexamined her device.

"Not much…other than that it's from an outside source…but the readings are diminishing; whatever you're doing must be working." Her breaths came out in short bursts.

"Okay…I think I've just about overridden it; but unfortunately that also means there's about to be a huge power surge as a result and we both may be arrested for committing a small act of vandalism, which isn't even the bad news…" Speaking at practically a million miles a minute, the Doctor studied his sonic, his eyes narrowing as he did so. "River, get into the TARDIS, see if you can contain the power surge; I'll be there in just a second." He gave her hand a firm squeeze, before ushering her towards the blue box right behind them.

Recognizing her husband's concerns, River obeyed, hastily pushing the pull-to-open doors and practically zooming towards the console. Her fingers immediately sprang to the controls, grasping the scanner and pressing various buttons and levers necessary to maintain the inevitable jolt of energy that would surely envelop the library at any given moment.

"Sorry, Old Girl, this isn't going to be pleasant." She flicked one last switch, and began yelling for her over-zealous husband. "Sweetie, I need you to get in here, _now_!"

"Be right there, Honey. Just hang on a tic—" his muffled response burst from just beyond the TARDIS entrance, causing his wife to roll her eyes in frustration.

"Doctor, hurry up, we haven't much time before the power su—" her frantic pleading was briskly cut short as she watched her husband stagger into the ship, his hair looking especially frazzled.

In seconds, he bounded over to where his wife clutched the console, ensuring that the process was going smoothly.

Threading his fingers through hers, the Doctor zipped his eyes shut, preparing himself for the explosive force which soon galvanized the TARDIS, sending him and River straight to the silvery floor below.

The intensity of the blast subsided nearly as quickly as it had come, although it took them both a few minutes to regain their footing.

"Phew. That was a close one." Gasping, the Doctor helped his wife to her feet, before shifting his attention to the scanner. "So, let's see then…no external damage to the library, systems back to normal and electricity functioning at minimum capacity; I think we'd better be leaving before security comes."

With that, River Song grasped the scanner, quickly typing the coordinates into the key-board-like instrument. Approaching the situation with the utmost caution, she then proceeded to turn the breaks off, so as not to draw attention to the TARDIS.

"Alright, we're back at my flat. There shouldn't be any way for security to trace this back to you. If anything, they'll only find whoever hacked the system in the first place." The professor reassured, leaning onto the console for support.

"Phase 2 complete, then, brilliant!" Clapping his hands together like an overly excited child, the man in the bow tie frolicked about his ship, eyes filled with excitement.

"Phase 2? What about _Phase 1_?"River's brow furrowed in confusion. She placed her hands on her hips, eying her husband beseechingly.

"Oh, well…funny you should ask, wife. I was just getting to that…" a ridiculous grin etched across his face as he bounded towards her.

Taking River in his arms, the Doctor quickly bent down, placing a light kiss to her lips.

"You were amazing." He beamed; glad to see he'd caught her off guard. "Right then, managed to override whatever was interfering with the system, get the TARDIS to contain the power surge, prevent any damage to the library, save us both from being arrested, and congratulate my wife on a job well-done. Phases 2 through 1 complete. Mission accomplished! Ooh, I've always wanted to say that."

A beat of silence.

"What?" his question was only answered by her hoarse laughter. _"What?"_

"Are you _serious_? Did you really just say '_mission accomplished'_?" a huge smile crossed River's face.

"Wha—no, I mean, _yeah_. That's what the cool people say." He harrumphed to his wife, nonexistent brows knitting together.

"Please don't ever say that again." Shaking her head, River tried to dissuade him.

"_Fine."_ The Doctor released an irritated sigh, muttering something along the lines of 'first my hats, then this.'

A firm nudge was what he received for that comment.

"River!"

"Hmmm? Don't mind me…Just keeping everything in check." There was a slight twinkle in her eye, a tiny glimmer which caused the Doctor's pulse to soar.

But the light in her eyes soon faded, overcome by a darkness that showed how she was really feeling. "Doctor…"

Her hand trembled slightly and she turned her gaze downward, trying to avoid his eyes.

"Yes, dear?"

"What happened back there? I've used that technology countless times before, but nothing's ever overridden the network. And what did it mean by 'winter is coming'? Don't pretend like you don't know, either. I could see it in your eyes." River glanced back at him, seeing the way his demeanor suddenly changed.

"I…well…I don't know anything for certain. 'Winter is coming' was something Vastra and Jenny told me Dr. Simeon, the man who'd been working for the Great Intelligence, had said. But Simeon's dead. Nothing more than the puppet of a now-living, sentient consciousness."

"The Great Intelligence."

"Exactly. I couldn't remember where I'd heard the name at first. But I've encountered it before, a long time ago, back in my second incarnation."

"Do you think that's what's behind all this?" she wondered, the gears practically spinning in her head as she spoke.

"I don't know. But whatever it is must not want us to learn anything about Clara. And I have more than a hunch that it's not a coincidence that the Great Intelligence is connected with her death—well, second death, if you want to get technical. It was the Ice Governess controlled by the Great Intelligence that killed her in the first place. Maybe that wasn't just by chance."

"But I thought you stopped the Great Intelligence."

"Well, I did. Sort of. For now, anyway." A grim expression melded across his features.

"Then assuming it did survive—how would something like that manage to get from the Victorian Era to the 51st Century and override the very network that we were using to search for information on Clara?"

"No idea. But I suppose it is a sentient being; it could have developed, evolved over the centuries, used more people as puppets. Who knows? It does seem entirely too convenient that I just happen to be involved in both situations."

"And the fact that this all revolves around Clara Oswin Oswald..." River continued, clearly onto something important.

"What is it about her, though? Birth records deleted from the ultimate 51st century database, no traces of familial history; a woman twice dead, both times involving me, the words, 'Run, you clever boy, and remember,' every time she dies. 'Remember'? Remember _what_?" Groaning, the Doctor sifted through his hair, obviously in deep thought. "There's something else, River. I just know it. Something smack dab in front of me, but I'm completely missing it! Some bloody idiot I am…"

"Oh, don't even start that. We both know that's utterly ridi-"

"But what if it isn't, River? I mean, look at me! We came to the library to do research. And what have we found out? Nothing, absolutely nothing! And now we can't go back because some genius hacked the network, and I don't want to try to go somewhere else because with my luck the process will only repeat itself. And then where will we be? Nowhere, that's where…"

"Honey…"

"Even all we've found out about the Great Intelligence only leads to a dead end. I don't understand how this is all connected. Is Clara somehow being controlled by the Great Intelligence and scattered across time? Is she even human? How does she keep coming back to life as the same person in the same body without any recollection of her past lives?"

"Doctor…"

But he scarcely listened, instead continuing to pace around, hands flailing about in the air as he rambled on and on.

"Everything I find out makes less and less sense! How am I supposed to find her? I don't have any clues worth anything…all the available databases are potentially hazardous…"

"Doc-_tor_!"

"Finally out of retirement and this is what I get? Really? After everything I've done for the universe, can't I be repaid, once, just this once—"

His nervous remarks were suddenly silenced as his wife slapped him.

"Ow! River, what was that for?" the Doctor whined, wincing in pain even though he probably wasn't hurt at all.

"When I have something insightful to say, I'd appreciate if you'd actually _listen _to me." River's glare cut straight to his hearts.

"Sorry." He muttered sheepishly, knowing he'd had that coming.

"Thank you. I just wanted to let you know that while _you_ were pacing around earlier and explaining the Clara situation, _I_ was able to download some potentially valuable information onto my portable computer…" Waving the device mid-air, River watched as her husband's eyes widened in surprise.

"Well, why didn't you just _say_ so?" The Doctor asked; his expression purely innocent.

"Honey, I've been trying to tell you this for the past five minutes! But somebody wouldn't take the hint and shut his big mouth!"

"Sorry." Another pitiful apology.

"It's alright. I forgive you, of course. Just…try to listen, please?" her voice was high-pitched.

"Okay." He mumbled softly, just barely above a whisper. His blue-green eyes searched hers, and he stroked her palm gently, causing a slight blush to form in River's cheeks.

She couldn't help but turn her face away.

"Ugh. What is it? What have I done this time? I'm sorry, River. Really sorry." River knew without a doubt that he was being genuine. "Honey, look at me."

No response.

"River?" it came out as a whimper. "River, please, I truly am sorry. I should've listened to you. I'm just frustrated and nervous, that's all. I know you've been trying to help…and doing a better job than me, to be honest. And I know I haven't been the best husband, and you've been waiting all this time to see me, and I, being the idiot I am, seem to have ruined everything, and I—"

Silencing his desperate apologies, River pressed her lips against his, her hand calmly stroking the hairs on the back of his neck.

When she drew back, her husband's face was completely flushed. He stared directly at her, mouth twitching in bewilderment.

"Gosh."

"Wh-What?" he spluttered, barely able to form the words.

"Must you always have that irresistible baby face?"

"B-baby face? River Song, I'll have you know, I'm over 1200 years old, I most certainly don't have…wait…what…why are you looking at me like that?" scratching his cheek nervously, the Doctor gulped.

"Because I can never stay angry at you for long when you give me that face." Her thumb stroked the side of his face in a way that made his toes curl.

"Well, um, okay…I suppose, that's, well, that's good to know, I'll try to keep it in mind for next time." He babbled on, surprised at himself for solving the problem unintentionally.

"You won't." a muffled sound burst from River's lips.

"Huh? What'd you say, dear?"

"My point, exactly." Just to exacerbate the situation, River gave him a wink, before trying to steer the conversation back to a relevant subject. "So, my computer; want to see something interesting?"

"Your computer…what…what are you…oh, oh, yes, right." He continued to scratch his cheek, finally zapping himself out of whatever fantasy world he'd just conjured up.

His wife simply smiled endearingly. Oh, that man, that ridiculous, impossible husband of hers. River had such power over him and how she loved to abuse it. But now wasn't the time for flirting; more serious matters had yet to be discussed.

"Doctor, look at this." Her finger pointed to the numbers on the screen.

"Yeah. So what? It's just a date, the 22nd of November, 1963…nothing special about…oh." His eyebrows shot up immediately.

"Yes. I've been thinking about it for a while, actually. Clara's birthdate. It was the 23rd, wasn't it? Granted, that was some time in the 19th century, but the year doesn't matter. The point is…"

"Clara was born the day after what would eventually become the day of JFK's assassination." The Doctor finished for her, remembering that day quite well. "I was there, you know. Back in my ninth body. Couldn't save him though."

"But, Sweetie, that's not all, there's something else. I just remembered."

"What, what'd you remember?"

"It might be nothing, but there's another connection. The name…the name of the man who killed JFK. It was Lee Harvey _Oswald."_

* * *

**Note: And yes, that is true; probably somewhat intentional on Moffat's part, as well. November 23rd, 1963, is, of course, Doctor Who's original broadcast date, which also happens to be the day after JFK died. Anyway...hope you enjoyed the chapter. Feel free to read some of my other stories while you're waiting for the next update or follow me on tumblr (See profile page).**

**Please take this time to review.**

**Have a wonderful, fantastically awesome Dalek invasion day!**


	4. Vulnerability

**Author's Note: This chapter is kind of odd, in the fact that it shifts tone-wise very quickly. It starts more focused on the Doctor and River finding info on Clara, but soon becomes more about River's fatigue and pain (which was hinted at in the first chapter before she saw the Doctor) and how she tries to keep this from her husband. When you're reading this, especially try to keep in mind the heartache that River is facing as a result of her parents deaths, and how far that might push her if she tries to hide it long enough. She's quite vulnerable, like she was when the Doctor healed her wrist in TATM, but at this point, even more so.**

* * *

After hearing that last bit, the Doctor couldn't help but stiffen. The gears of his alien mind turned at rapid speed.

Lee Harvey Oswald. Oswin Oswald. Clara Oswin Oswald.

"Doctor?" His wife's calm tone ushered him out of his mental-thought process.

"Hmm. Oh, right; yes, dear?" He snapped his head back up, turning to face River.

"I said, 'what do you think of that?'" River's finger pointed to the description on the screen.

"Oh, well, I don't know, really. Coincidence?" Running his hands through his hair, the man in the bow tie tried to sound confident, but as usual, failed atrociously.

"A coincidence? That's all you have to say?"

"Well, what more is there to say? It's probably nothing. I mean, Clara and JFK's murderer just happen to have the same last name and a connection to the 23rd of November. So what?" His hands flailed about in the air as he explained his reasoning.

"What's that you've always told me? _Never_ ignore a coincidence?" She chided, making her point all-too-clear.

"Unless you're busy." The Doctor finished, his thoughts flashing back to a Roman Centurion and a long-ago conversation beneath Stonehenge. Best not think of that, he told himself, wanting to avoid the darks depths of despair he'd been living in ever since he'd lost the Ponds.

"We're not busy, dear. In case you haven't noticed, we're looking for Clara Oswin Oswald, a woman twice-dead, with virtually zero records of background available, so I'd say any sort of connections must be important. If we want to find her, we can't afford to be negligent. And yes, I do realize that it could be nothing, but after the whole 'winter is coming' incident, I'd wager that this is at least worth a look-in. So, I'll ask again, 'what do you think?' And don't tell me 'coincidence' because I saw your face just now and I know that's not what you were thinking." River's green-tinged eyes nagged at his hearts, giving him no choice but to answer.

"Okay. Okay. Let's see…" By that point, the Doctor had begun his pacing. "Same last name. Same date. Different people. Different year. 1963, you said? Hmm…1963, what's so special about 1963?"

"Isn't the whole 'police-box' exterior of the TARDIS circa 1963? As I recall, you tried to blend in during that year and the TARDIS chameleon circuit got stuck on the phone box setting."

"Yes, yes, that's true. But does it mean anything? Is it just a coincidence or connection?" irritation filled his voice as he continued his spiel.

"Well, if it is a connection, then I'm almost certain this all has to do with you. What if it's like the 'winter is coming' message; maybe this is someone or something's way of attracting your attention. Or maybe it's a warning." That last suggestion came out rather quietly, and River sounded a bit unsure of herself.

"A warning? Against what? And how would that be possible anyway?" he mumbled incoherently, more to himself than his wife.

"How I am supposed to know? Just throwing out suggestions here. But given your past history, I think we may be onto something."

"Hmm…a warning? How could it be a warning?"

"Didn't you say that Oswin was a Dalek, when you first met her? I'm assuming she tried to exterminate you, am I right?" River broached the subject calmly, hoping that the suspicions she began to have were of no real value.

There was a brief pause, and the Doctor's expression grew grim.

"Yes… She did try to kill me. But she was forcibly turned into a Dalek, her humanity stripped away from her; it wasn't her fault." He started, almost sounding defensive.

"I never said it was. But do you see the possible connection, here?" she eyed him beseechingly, her expression terse.

"What, that Clara, or Oswin, as she was then called, tried to kill me and failed, and Lee Harvey Oswald tried to kill President Kennedy and succeeded? Are you really suggesting that Clara is a murderer or a weapon against me? Because you of all people should know I've been there, done that. Plus, everyone in the universe thinks I'm dead. The Daleks don't even remember me. You said it once yourself, I deleted myself from every databank in the universe. You're one of the only people who knows the truth. So I don't see how that'd work."

"I'm not suggesting that, of course not. But…I can't help…can't help but wonder…what if there's something dangerous about her? All this mystery…what could it all be leading up to? As much as I'd like to think this is all just a big coincidence, my gut instinct tells me it isn't." Shuddering, River Song tried to keep her voice steady.

For a moment, neither River nor her husband spoke, both clearly in deep thought.

"You're worried about me, aren't you?" the raggedy man realized, his gaze immediately falling on his wife.

"I…just…I…y-yes. Maybe. A bit. Sometimes you just…I don't know. I…I worry about where you might end up. Not just …not just because of Clara…just in general. My mother's last charge to me was to look after you, and I fear that I'm…I'm not doing such a good job." Her eyes strayed away from his, then, and she found herself staring down at the floor below, her cheeks growing slightly red.

Sensing River's seriousness, her husband stopped his pacing, suddenly moving closer towards her, his hand finding hers in a matter of seconds. His thumb stroked her palm soothingly as if to speak the words he could never say aloud.

She felt her breath hitch in her throat, an eerie sense of comfort sweeping her body at her husband's silent gesture.

"River…" the Doctor's tone was heavy, laced with concern, and as much as she wanted to listen, she knew that this really wasn't the time for a serious conversation.

Turning her focus intently on her portable computer, the Doctor's wife pretended to act enthralled by whatever was on the screen.

"Riv—"

"Right, then, I doubt we'll get much done standing around here. Sweetie, why don't you go take my computer and download the info on Clara to one of the TARDIS databases? While you're doing that I'll go into the TARDIS library and see if I can find any other info. Now that I have some idea of what to search for, we might actually find something of use." Without sparing him another word, River hastily thrust her scanner in his hands, allowing him no time to protest.

"Wha—wait. River?" he squeaked, confusion etched across his face.

She stopped dead in her tracks, her back stiffening, shoulders tensing.

"Yes?"

"Are…you…Did I…I mean, are you feeling all right?" his fingers scratched his cheek.

"Yeah. Of course. I just thought that we might get a bit more done if we split up…you know…It won't take very long." She promised, briefly forcing herself to meet his sorrow-filled eyes.

"Okay. Right, I'll just…I'll just be…on my way then…" River heard his voice taper off, and took this as her cue to leave, keen to be out of his sight.

Making her way out of the blue-tinted console room, the curly-haired woman wandered through a vaguely familiar hallway, halting once she managed to find the library.

To be honest, she couldn't help but feel somewhat surprised, seeing that it hadn't changed at all; the rows and rows of books still lined the extravagant- looking room, the beloved swimming pool still shown mid-center, the ceiling still towered magnificently high above her.

How long had it been since she'd been in here? The thought circled through her mind, and with a pained hesitance she remembered. After Manhattan, this was where she'd spent so much of her time, where she slaved away on that book, where she'd gone to escape the unbearable silence that had drifted between her and her husband for days on end.

_But that's not important, right now. I need to get to work._

With that, River perched herself on a rather comfy chair, eying the digital screen before her, which oddly enough bore a striking resemblance to the one she'd been using earlier at the Luna University.

Sighing, she placed her fingers on the top of the desk, waiting for the digital keyboard to appear.

Even as she did so, she couldn't help but notice the way her hand was trembling, her skin having gone quite pale.

_It's nothing._ A voice in her head rationalized, but the more she pondered it, the more she realized just how mentally and emotionally exhausted she felt, how appealing sleep would be.

Her headache from earlier returned, and she groaned, placing a hand to her temple.

_Come on, just do something…you're the one who suggested this in the first place. If you don't go along with it, he'll get suspicious._

Pressing on, the woman who'd survived so much continued about the task she'd assigned herself, typing in whatever key words came to mind, hoping to goodness she could get herself together before her husband returned.

* * *

About an hour later, a very sweat-drenched, paranoid Doctor burst through the doors to the TARDIS library, his wife's small computer clutched in his hand.

After one hasty glance, he recognized the unmistakable figure of River Song, who sat on one of those amazingly-comfy chairs that he'd had the TARDIS install ages ago.

"Oh, good, River, there you are! I've been looking all over for you. Finished downloading the stuff a while back…just couldn't seem to find this room. Seems the Old Girl kept switching everything around…trying to…" Pulling up a seat next to his wife, the man in the bow tie stopped speaking, recognizing the look on River's face instantly. "River…?"

Her eyelids flickered open and closed and she seemed startled for a moment, as if she had only just become aware his presence.

"What…yes?" her voice came out more groggily than she anticipated. Clutching the lenses of her Harry –Potter-like glasses, River shielded her eyes.

"Making progress?" the Doctor asked, furrowing a brow in question.

Snapping herself back into reality, the professor of archaeology answered her husband's inquiry.

"Not much, to be honest." She continued wearily, her voice sounding drained. "Looked through the TARDIS' current files on police boxes, going off of the whole 1963 idea. Just seeing if there might be some connection to where Clara is now." She drew his attention to the screen.

"So?"

"Like I said, I didn't exactly get anywhere. But I did notice something that might be useful or else completely rubbish. I know this is absolutely ridiculous and far-fetched, but have you ever noticed the words, 'St John's Ambulance' on front of the TARDIS?" she whispered, slightly apprehensive.

"Well, yeah, of course, you know, after walking past those doors for so long, I was bound to…wait, what does that have to do with anything? Those words aren't just on police boxes; they're often used with medical organizations and vehicles…"

"Will you just let me finish? That's what I'd originally thought, too, but something told me that if police boxes are what connect you to 1963, then perhaps 'St John' might mean something. But I didn't get much beyond that." Her hand adjusted her glasses yet again, as if to help her focus.

"Okay…well, I downloaded all the data on Clara from your computer, so you should be able to access it anywhere in the TARDIS databases, now." He informed her, hoping she might actually turn to face him. "River…"

"Alright, let's see then…" she started, her fingers quickly moving to the keyboard-like instrument.

But before she could even type a coherent word, her husband grabbed her hand.

"Ah, ah, ah. Oh, no you don't." He spoke with authority, forcing her to meet his eyes.

"Sweetie, really, we have to…"

"No, River, don't try to distract me. We can deal with the research later. Right now, we need to talk. For starters, why did you tell the Old Girl to hide this room from me?" His grip on her hand tightened.

"What? Who said I ever…"

"I may be old, River, but I'm certainly not stupid. So don't play games. I know the only reason you suggested we split up was because you were trying to avoid me. Why?" his tone was high-pitched by the end of that sentence, revealing just a fraction of what he felt.

He hoped for a reasonable response, but instead his wife just turned her focus to the screen, ignoring him altogether.

Another beat of silence.

"Alright, if you're going to be like this, then let me approach it a different way. River, when was the last time you slept?" his fingers rubbed the back of her hand, beckoning her to answer. "And don't you dare lie to me."

A pause.

"I…I'm not sure. Days? Weeks? Months, maybe?" she muttered it so softly he was surprised he could even understand what she was saying.

"_Months_? River, that is absolutely ridiculous! You may be part Time Lord, but you're also part human. Enough so that you need to sleep at least once every few days. You can't just go without sleep for months, that's terribly unhealthy." His hand began to shake as he continued speaking.

"Yeah, says the man who sleeps only a few times a year." River shot back, pain and anger in her voice.

"That…that is different and you know it. My body is capable of doing that. Yours isn't. So, would you care to explain why you've allowed yourself to become this physically exhausted?"

"Doctor, I'm perfectly fine. I'm not exhausted at all. I've been helping you just fine ever since you arrived, haven't I?" she reasoned, trying to get him to let the situation alone.

"River, the only reason you've been so 'awake' up to this point is because your body was running on pure adrenaline. You were just falling asleep when I walked in a second ago, and that's only confirmation of the suspicions I've had since the moment I saw you walk into your flat. You're beyond exhausted." The truth of his words unnerved her, giving her an uneasy feeling.

"It doesn't matter. Like I said before, I'm fine, Doctor, and you asked me to help you, so here I am…"

Pulling River firmly into his arms, her husband caught her off guard.

"What, what are you do—"

"Come on, you're going to bed." The Doctor explained, tightening his hold on her.

But her immediate reaction was to struggle, for fear of that if she slept the awful memories of a night long gone by would resurface yet again.

"No. Doctor, stop, I can't sleep. I have too much to do, research, grading papers...there's no time for…"

"Then we make time. You are going to sleep. And that is final. Don't make me force you." He warned, growing frustrated.

"I'd like to see you try." River managed to humor herself despite the situation, though she soon grew strikingly quiet.

Her husband barely flinched at that, clearly not in the mood for exchanging innuendoes.

"River!"

Knowing he only had her best interests at heart, River grudgingly submitted, despite the fact that she could've easily knocked him out in a heartbeat if she'd felt the need to.

"You can let go of me, now. I'm not a child you know." She intended to sound confident, but instead it came out more pitiful than anything else.

"Of course not." He found himself drawn to her, stroking her hair fondly.

"Then why are you treating me like one?" she snapped, glaring at the Doctor, a sadness present beneath the angry façade.

"I…I…I 'm just looking out for you. Can't you see that? I know you think it's your responsibility to take care of me, but can't a husband take care of his wife once in a while, too?" His watery eyes stared straight into hers, showing just how much it hurt him to see her like this.

Her jaw tightened, and she didn't answer, instead intent on veering down the hallway to their bedroom.

"River…"

It wasn't until they reached the room that River finally spoke.

"I'm going to change." She mumbled, voice sounding vacant and empty.

He nodded, propping himself on a chair beside the bed, before proceeding to remove his shoes. After that, he simply sat there, his hand pressed against his cheek as he waited, finding that he was also quite tired, having not slept since right after he'd lost the Ponds.

About five minutes later, River stepped back into the room, a long, surprisingly modest nightdress covering her body.

The Doctor nearly commented on how gorgeous she looked, but changed his mind as soon as he caught a glimpse of her tear-streaked face.

Without another word, his wife thrust herself in the bed, before pulling her body beneath the covers and turning off the small light on the bedside table.

And she didn't even acknowledge him. Not a word. Not a single goodnight. Nothing.

She sniffled as quietly as possible, though her husband could hear her all too clearly. His hearts ached in his chest. Maybe he had gone about this the wrong way. Maybe he should've just let her be and waited until she dropped dead of exhaustion. Maybe he should've ignored the situation altogether and just kept on with the research.

His hand rummaged through his hair and he couldn't help but feel a burdensome sense of guilt. He didn't know for sure why River was really so against sleeping, but he had a feeling that it had to do with him.

The more he listened to the sound of her crying, the harder it was to bear.

Sensing River's need to be alone, the Doctor straightened himself, moving to his feet and beginning his trek back to the console room.

"Doctor…" her voice barely rose above a whisper, so quiet, so mousy, so unlike the River he knew. Whatever had done this to her had eaten her from the inside out.

His hearts clenched at that sound, and his throat tightened as he tried to respond.

"Yes, dear?" he asked as kindly as he could manage.

"I…I …don't want…to be…alone." River's broken plea pierced him to the very core. The fact that she was even admitting this spoke volumes to him about the pain she kept hidden from deep within.

Slipping off his purple frock coat, the Doctor soon climbed into bed beside River, having left the remainder of his clothing on.

"I would never do that to you." He whispered to his wife, his breath warm against her ear as he pulled her into a loose, innocent embrace. "Goodnight, River."

And there she lay, silently, secure in her husband's arms, as she drifted off to the sound of his heartbeats, fighting the terror that she feared would return to her dreams, clinging to the Doctor with every ounce of strength she had left, until she became lost in the sea of darkness she'd been avoiding for some time.

* * *

**Note: Just so you know, I intend to explain more about why River is so upset in the next chapter. I know it's quite a shift from how she normally acts (for sure), but this is my attempt to explore how much her parents deaths and the Doctor's depression may have affected her. I also plan to go into more about the whole 'St John' reference, seeing as this is a lead in to ****_The Bells of St John. _****Hope you enjoyed it.**

**Please take this time to leave a review.**

**Have a great day!**


	5. Nightmare

**Author's Note: Just a fair warning about this chapter, it's unlike anything I've ever written before. It begins with River's nightmare (hence the italics), but leaves off more light-heartedly. I hope you enjoy it:) **

* * *

_For a moment, a brief second in time, she was unsure of her surroundings, caught up in a haze of darkness and misery. _

_Screams rippled through the air, high-pitched, grating at her last nerve, an endless cacophony of noise, bursting from all around. _

Where is it coming from? _She wondered in vain, trying to make out the blurry silhouettes obscured by the opaque fog that drifted like a powerful juggernaut, devouring everything in sight._

_The shrill cries of terror continued to ring in her ears, and suddenly she felt the vibration of her own throat, the openness of her mouth, and with violent trembling began to realize that _she _was screaming._

_But there was a deeper voice, too, one so familiar, and tangible; it resounded even above hers. _

Doctor.

_And in an instant, the hazy darkness began to dissipate, morphing into identifiable shapes. She could see him then, her husband, yelling with all the strength he could muster, his gangly legs scampering back and forth as he ran towards what she realized was the edge._

_The edge. The edge of what she now recognized as a building. A skyscraper of some sort. Unlike any she'd ever seen. If she'd had the time to scan the area she would have understood the oddity of it all, the grotesque, looming nature of its structure, towering what appeared to be miles and miles above whatever was down below._

_Instead, she found herself hyper-focused as she raced behind the Doctor, her eyes finally able to make out the other figures nearly perched at the edge._

_A red-haired woman clung firmly to a sandy-haired man, tears streaming down her pale cheeks as she prepared herself to take the inevitable leap of faith. The couple's faces shone as glistening lights among the blackness, radiating forth through the fog. They told of an unspoken love, an undying loyalty that little Melody Pond had held fast to for as long as she could remember._

_Amelia and Rory Williams. Her parents. _

Mum! Dad! Please, stop, you can't! _Melody's plea echoed through her mind, but when she tried to speak, her throat was dry, nothing but husky breaths came out. _

_Her heart clenched painfully in her chest as she stood desperately, locked in place, helpless to prevent the chain of events unfolding before her very eyes._

_At that moment, she became conscious of her husband's distinctive cry, a pitiful noise mingled with both desperation and hopelessness. _

'_Amy!'_

_Looking towards the edge of the building, the path the abyss, River found herself paralyzed, watching as her mother and father, her best friends, plummeted past the point of no return._

_She shuffled, wanting so much to hold them back, to stop everything, but by the time her limbs loosened enough for her to move even a smidge, it was already too late._

_Below, she could still see the stream of ginger hair soaring through the air as the couple kept falling, falling, falling, falling, until –_WHAM!

_The journey downwards abruptly halted in a split second and the bodies of the man and woman lurched, before crashing to the hard ground, leaving nothing but two crumpled forms bathed in crimson._

Nooooooo!

_Sickened and scarred by the sight, River zipped her eyes shut, biting her lip to ignore the excruciating pain that cut her straight to the core._

'_Nooooo!' she heard it again, but this time it wasn't her voice, it was _his_, her husband's, so agonized, so heartbroken; she had no choice but to regain her surroundings._

_Her blue-green irises widened, and she stared straight at the man in the bow tie, horrified at the way he too swayed back and forth, clearly deciding to emulate his friends' recent move._

_He didn't even acknowledge her, too caught up in what he'd just witnessed and intent on following suit._

Doctor! No, you _can't_! _River screamed as loudly as she possibly could, zooming towards her husband in an effort to prevent him from jumping._

_Closer and closer she sped, hardly able to breathe when she reached him._

Doctor!

_His foot slipped and he began to lose his balance completely, and soon enough he was falling too._

_But she refused to give up, not now, not after she'd lost her parents. Her husband was all she had left. And if she had to go down with him, then so be it._

_Her body leaned over the edge and her hand stretched out to him, moving further down as he tumbled, as if in slow motion._

_It was no use; she couldn't reach him, and before she knew it, she was tottering off the building, absolutely terrified, knowing that there was no possible way—_

I—I'm sorry, my love!

_And amidst the consuming blackness of the night, when she'd nearly lost her strength completely, she felt his fingertips, and soon caught his hand in hers, clutching it tightly as they headed to meet the fate of her parents._

_Tensing, River expected to crash against the hard sidewalk at full force, but was surprised to feel a soft grass pressing against her body._

What? What happened?

_Her eyes popped open and she looked up to see the towering shapes of a forest surrounding her. Glancing at the new sky above, she saw a sea of golden light fade away, and with it the sight of the skyscraper she'd just fallen from._

Was this only a dream? Where's the Doctor?

_She tried to process that thought, but was suddenly startled as a dark form of an all-too-familiar man veered nearer to her._

Doctor?

_River shuddered when his face came into view, no longer filled with only sorrow, but now a morbid contortion of hot-blooded rage and extreme despair. New lines etched his forehead, and blood lined his scalp. Had she not been so distracted by this galling sight, his wife might have noticed the darker tone of clothing, the loss of the bow tie and tweed._

Doctor? Wh-What? What's wrong? What's happened to you? _Small droplets pooled in her eyes as she stared at him in confusion, stiffening at the sound of his angry growl._

'_It's all your fault, River! You let it happen! You let them die! And then you left me all alone! You despicable, murdering, psychopathic, miserable wretch…YOU DID THIS TO ME!" The Doctor practically roared, before coming right at her, his hand that she'd so desperately tried to grasp now clutching her throat, his fingernails biting into her skin._

Swee…tie…please…Doc-tor…I…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…. _She managed to cough, growing light-headed at the stench of her own blood._

'_No, you aren't, you liar! All you ever do is lie to me! I trusted you…but you…you…'_

_His razor-sharp words became indistinguishable as River struggled for breath, wrestling against his grip in vain until his fingers withdrew from her neck, causing her to tumble to the ground._

_Her body shook ravenously as the tears poured from her eyes without fail; she didn't know what was worse, the physical pain of being strangled or the emotional agony of her husband's crushing accusations._

_With great effort she managed to focus her vision on the man who'd just torn her apart, only to watch him vaporize into midair like some sort of hallucination._

Doctor? _Doctor!?_

_A bitter chill swept through her, and she trembled, calling out his name, but to no avail._

_It was then that another figure appeared out of seemingly nowhere, a spikey-haired man that was vaguely familiar, but oddly foreign._

_Even in her convoluted state of mind, River Song recognized him from her most recent excursion to Asgard. The was the Doctor. But not her Doctor. Not her husband._

Doctor?

_But he just blinked in confusion, cold brown eyes staring at her lifelessly, a sight that dug deeper than her husband's rage-filled irises._

Doctor? Help…me…

_She begged, despite herself, feeling the marks on her skin stinging like mad, drawing her into a gruesome desperation._

Please…Doctor; it's me, River…

_He still stood there, vacantly staring straight through her._

_Her heart stopped._

He doesn't…he doesn't know me…

_She writhed in pain as the soulless eyes soon became strangely lively, looking anywhere but the woman in front of him_

_And the stranger erupted into laughter, a garish smile slipping across his face, as he suddenly contorted back into the form of her angry husband. _

_He steadily moved closer to her, anger blazing, sadistic grin still firmly in place._

'_Now, you _murderer_, time to get what you deserve…"_

_The man with her husband's face crept right next to her, forcing both hands around her neck, yet again, crushing her so much that her lungs could just barely function, that her chest collapsed, and her mind began to sink back into nothingness…_

* * *

"Please, Doctor, don't…I…can't…I'm sorry…" River's frantic cries resounded through her husband's ears, piercing his hearts in the process.

Her brow was completely drenched in sweat, her face tear-lined and far-too-pale. Her body shook without fail, and she looked absolutely traumatized.

Pulling River more firmly against him, the Doctor continued his efforts to calm his wife, tugging her close to his hearts and placing gentle kisses to her forehead.

"Shhhh. It's okay, love. I'm here. It's me. It's the Doctor. Your husband. I'm right here, River. Follow my voice, dear; It's not real, River. You're having a nightmare. You need to wake up, now, Honey." He whispered in her ear, using the most soothing voice possible.

He felt her shudder; she was apparently still entrenched in that awful nightmare. Thirty minutes he'd been at this, and somehow within that time River had only gotten worse.

Stroking his fingers through her curls, her husband tried to bring her out of the dream-induced state.

"I…I…can't…breathe…" she gasped, warm tears dripping out of her eyes, as her chest heaved.

Alarmed, the Doctor loosened his embrace and gave her space she needed.

"There…there you go, River…it's okay…you're going to be just fine…I'm here," he repeated again, hoping to get through to her this time.

"H-Help me…" her rasp practically shattered his hearts, and once he'd thought her breathing had slowed to a healthier rate, he wrapped his arms around her more tightly.

"I'm here, River. I'm here, Honey. And I am not leaving you." His throat caught as he spoke, and he found himself nearly breaking down. "I'm here…Melody." Her husband whispered in broken Gallifreyan, his native language, the language only _they_ shared. "Please…just…wake up…"

He closed his eyes, trying to fight the tears, pressing his forehead softly against hers.

"Melody…" the Doctor's thoughts went back to her parents, his best friends, and his voice cracked, soon muffled by his own sobs.

Moments passed, and the Doctor waited and waited and waited, willing himself to exhibit just a bit of the remarkable patience she used with him all the time.

And then he heard it, her quiet voice, resonating in his ears like a blissful melody.

"Doctor?" River's body quivered and he hadn't realized she'd actually been conscious until her hand touched his cheek. Relieved to feel the warm of her skin returning, the Doctor gazed straight into those green-tinged eyes.

"I'm here, River. I'm not leaving you. I promise. You're safe." He kissed her lightly on the lips.

"Are you…is this…am I dr-dreaming?" she muttered, voice weak and vulnerable.

"No, dear. This is as real as it gets. The nightmare is over, now, River."

River buried her face in her husband's shoulder, drawing from his warmth.

"I…" but the Doctor quickly silenced her.

"Whatever happened, in that dream, River, it's a lie. You know that I would never do anything to hurt you. Now why don't we rest here, for a while? You and me, eh? Together?"

"Okay."

* * *

Hours later, the curly haired woman awoke dazedly; her head still throbbing, remnants of images from the nightmare only beginning to fade.

She had that awful feeling that brought her back to the days of her childhood, the days where her memory had been tainted and her thoughts manipulated.

Everything from the night before was but a foggy mess, she could recall bits and pieces, but it was all a bit of a blur.

"Ugh…my head…" she murmured, the extent of her fatigue really kicking in.

Glancing around the room, River became startled, and yet somewhat relieved that her husband was absent. To think that he had actually seen her in that sort of state was unnerving.

"Doc—"

Before she could even finish, he came bursting through the room, dressed in a slightly different outfit, hair done just the way she liked, smile tugging at his lips, as he carried a tray of hot food.

"Oh, hello, dear! Glad to see you've finally woken up! Don't worry, I wasn't gone long. Just popped off to make some breakfast…I was hoping to get back before you woke up…oh, well…" His enthusiasm faltered for a moment, and she witnessed what she thought was a flicker of sadness in his eyes, though it soon passed.

Propping himself beside her, the Doctor placed the tray down on the blanket she was still curled beneath.

"Breakfast in bed, River! And I made your favorite! French- style Omelettes!" he grinned that Doctor-ish grin that melted her heart, and as much as she wanted to accept his kind offer, she couldn't ignore the sickening feeling in her stomach.

"Um…thank you, Sweetie. I really appreciate it. But…I…I'm not really hungry…"River's eyes drifted away from his, and her heart leapt, for she feared disappointing him.

"Oh. Right. Okay. I just thought…you know…" his fingers scratched his cheek and he grew flustered.

"But some tea would be _marvelous_; I've got an awful headache." She managed a tiny smile to steer him on, but she could tell by the look he gave her that he knew exactly what she was really asking.

"Well, sure thing, then, dear! I'll be right on it!" his gaze rested on River for a moment, but he soon snapped back into reality, hesitantly making his way out of the room.

As soon as he'd gotten out of hearing distance, River released a weary sigh. Pressing her hand to her forehead, she tried to sort out the traumatic images of the previous night.

* * *

Grasping a cup of English Breakfast Tea in his hand, the man in the bow tie entered the doorway to his bedroom.

"River, here, you are, a good old cuppa, just the way you…" He stopped, his eyes resting on her trembling form. "…like…it."

River sat on the mattress, completely dressed, her back facing her husband.

Moving toward the tiny coffee table, the Doctor quietly put the tea on a coaster.

"River…"

A beat of silence.

"River, I…"

The Doctor veered closer to her, hoping she'd turn to face him.

She didn't.

He watched as she carefully removed her hand from her face, placing it at her side, as if to lower his suspicions.

It was another moment before she spoke.

"I'm sorry about last night. That was highly immature of me. I'll make sure it never happens again." Her jaw clenched, and the Doctor couldn't help but get the sense that she was just barely holding herself together, despite the false exterior.

Crouching down beside his wife, the man in the bow tie began to speak.

"You're wrong you, know." He whispered, hand reaching out to stroke hers.

The color in her cheeks deepened subtly, and her husband wasn't terribly surprised when she pretended not to hear.

"That wasn't immature, River. If anything…"

She didn't let him finish.

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course it was…let's just forget…"

"No, no, River, I'm sorry, but I can't do that…"

"But, I'm fine, Doctor, clearly…"

"No, you're not." He sighed, knowing her next response before she'd even said anything.

"I _am_."

"Then why are you shaking?" River stiffened at that, growing un-ordinarily still. "It's okay. I understand. You don't need to hide it, River. I know about your damage, and I don't want you to have to bear it alone."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Her voice was as firm and confident as she could manage.

"I think you do."

"But, I'm fi—"

Grabbing her wrist, the Doctor beckoned her to listen.

"River! Come on, now is _not_ the time for lies!"

"Who say I'm…I told you, I'm _fine_, Sweetie."

"How can you say that? How can you say that when you're hurting so deeply?" he begged, his tone high-pitched.

"It doesn't matter." Her voice shook, now, although she tried to hide it.

"Don't give me that! Don't you dare tell me that. Don't you dare. River, I saw you last night. I heard your screams. I heard you cry out for your parents. I heard the fear in your voice when you spoke of me."

For a second, she didn't respond, seeing the truth in his words, but unwilling to confirm it.

"Why didn't you tell me their death hurt you so badly?" he choked, becoming emotional, himself.

No response.

"River, _why_?"

"Because it wasn't important! You needed me to look after you; my feelings didn't matter. It was stupid of me, anyway."

"No it wasn't. A child's worst fear is losing his or her parents."

"I'm not a child!"

"I never said you were. But you were their child. And they loved you very much. Almost as much as I do." That last bit was spoken just above a whisper.

"I know." Her bottom lip began to tremble, and she moved away so he couldn't see. "But I've let them down. I wasn't enough for you. I couldn't heal your pain. I couldn't fix you. I couldn't even look after you properly. You going into retirement…everything…it's my fault. I…I'm getting older, and…I suppose that's off-putting to you…I mean, all it took was a chipper young woman to get you back on your feet, and I suppose I should be grateful, but I can't help but think that I'm…I'm a failure…of a wife." A single tear slipped down her cheek, and her husband could tell that she genuinely felt that way.

"That…that…is the most ridiculous nonsense I have ever heard, River Song. Don't you dare blame yourself for my stupid decisions. Ever. My retirement was my own doing. Yes, I do have Clara to thank, but don't think you didn't go unnoticed, either. When I was up there in isolation, I remembered our time together after Manhattan, and I… I remembered how you'd love and kiss and hold me, and talk to me, listen to whatever I had to say. You did everything you could. And I'm such a stubborn old man, River. I acted like I didn't care, like I didn't appreciate it, but really…truly…it meant more to me than I can say….And I…am…so…sorry. I'm sorry for putting you through that. I'm sorry for being so incredibly selfish that I never stopped to ask you about your pain, your suffering. I know now just how wrong I was. And I have to say…in complete honesty…that…you…are…the best…wife…a man could…ever ask for…and I …lov—"

But before he could finish that sentence her lips were on his, showing him that she knew, oh, she knew how he felt about her, even after all that had happened.

And he made it a prerogative to show her, to communicate that love in the only tangible way he knew how.

When they drew back, the Doctor gathered her into his arms, whispering into those curls.

"Let's try to be honest with each other about how we feel from now on…I know we have to lie sometimes, what, with spoilers and everything…but I'd…I really want us to see each other for who we really are…foibles and all…what do you say?"

"I…I'll try my best." She supplied, knowing she might not be able to honestly commit to that otherwise.

"Well, that's a start. And that's all I can really ask for." He paused to breathe. "So…are we good, now? Really?"

"Yes." River kissed him on the cheek, making him blush slightly.

Wringing his hands together, the man in the bow tie made his next suggestion.

"So, wife, shall we go do some Clara investigating? _Together_?" He emphasized the last word.

"Indeed, we shall, husband. But on one condition." River arched a brow.

"What?"

"We do a few laps in the swimming pool, first…"

"Well, that's quite an offer, Mrs. Doctor. And one I most certainly will not object to."

* * *

**Note: So, hope you found something about this chapter enjoyable. Can't wait for March 30th (****_The Bells of Saint John_**** looks so exciting). Feel free to check out some of my other stories (profile). **

**Please take this time to leave a review.**

**Have a wonderful day!**


	6. Journey

**Author's Note: So this is the last chapter of this fic, which to be honest is quite a relief for me, I wasn't sure I'd have the time to get it done before ****_The Bells of Saint John_**** premiere. But I did, thank God:) I really tried to included elements so that this will lead in nicely to the prequel and the actual episode, as well as Series 7 in general (since we know River will be in the finale). Just to get you in the right frame of mind, this chapter takes place at night, a few days after the previous one. Enjoy:)**

* * *

Laughing gaily, the couple strode into the TARDIS library.

With a contented sigh, the man in the bow tie propped himself in one of the comfy chairs, waving his hand for River to do the same. He shot her a knowing grin, and she couldn't help but giggle, despite her want to revert back to seriousness.

The last few days had been _interesting_, to say that least. Between the whole swimming pool incident, the date to the snowiest planet in the galaxy and some other unmentionable activities, the Doctor and his wife had gotten a bit… distracted.

But now River was trying her best to focus on what the Doctor had come here to do in the first place—research on the mysterious Clara Oswald, the woman twice dead.

"Okay, Sweetie. Seriously, we need to focus…" she put on her sternest face. "Clara's not just going to magically appear, you know."

"Well, that's not necessarily true. I've already bumped into her twice…who's to say it won't happen again?" His wife shot him a look. "Oh, _fine_. We'll do some more searching; hopefully find something that'll lead me right to her…"

Whipping out her portable computer, River scanned the tiny screen in front of her.

"Hmmm. I took some notes the last time we did this. If I recall, we were—"

"Speculating on the connection between Lee Harvey Oswald and Clara, which then led to a rather odd discussion about 1963 and police boxes and 'St John Ambulance.'" The words flung out of his mouth so naturally that River was surprised.

"_Someone's_ been paying attention." She smirked.

"Yeah, well, it's sort of been on my mind lately."

"I can see why. You could never resist a good mystery. And that is what Clara Oswald seems to be—the impossible girl."

"Quite right, too. That's a rather nice way of putting it. 'The impossible girl,' I reckon I'll use that again." Wringing his hands together, the eccentric man gabbled on.

"Honey…"

"Yes, dear?"

"Back to the actual _research_ bit."

"Yes, yes, of course." The Doctor spun to face his wife, eyes gleaming with excitement.

A beat of silence.

"So…erm…" He started, waiting for River to chime in at any moment.

Still half-focused on her PDA, the curly haired woman spoke her thoughts aloud.

"Well, I'd say we'd better stay in the library together. But maybe one of us should search for one thing and the other for another. We should use our resources; books, databases, whatever…let's hope we can get past speculation and actually find something useful…"

Content with River's suggestion, the Doctor nodded in agreement.

"Good plan. Why don't you look up some more information on the 'Saint John' connection…anything you can find, places associated with that name, the basic history behind it…all that archaeological rubbi—stuff, I mean, stuff. Meanwhile, I'll try to work out more on the Great Intelligence and the whole 'winter is coming' message…or threat, whatever it is. How does that sound?" His eyes lit up in question.

"Fine. Let's get going shall we?" River declared, rising from her seat to put her PDA on the table beside the computer screen. "I'm transferring my notes to the TARDIS database now …Sweetie?"

But her husband was already clearly entrenched in thought, pacing back and forth as usual.

"The Great Intelligence. Why didn't I remember it before? Why did it only ring a bell?" He continued on and on in this fashion, mumbling incoherent musings to himself.

Having learned over years of marriage to let the Doctor think when he needed to, River decided not to interrupt, intent on gleaning some background on 'Saint John,' after the whole 1963 connection they'd already established.

Her fingers bounced over the holographic keys, typing in the operative words that would give her a few clues on Clara's whereabouts.

* * *

Edging down the elegant rows of bookshelves, River couldn't help but marvel at the enormity of it all. She'd always been enthralled with libraries, so many tales and stories and information, available just by the flip of a page.

Her fingertips drifted softly atop the multi-colored, variously-sized spines that repeated and repeated for what seemed like miles, creating a labyrinth of rainbow.

But color wasn't her main focus, rather she scoured the labels on each book, some dotted with English, other human languages, and even Gallifreyan, trying to pinpoint the title she'd found on the TARDIS database.

After a little while of searching, she abruptly stopped, her eyes recognizing the title she'd been searching for.

"Here we are then," a sigh of relief escaped her throat at the find. "_Memoirs from the Chapel of St. John and Surrounding Areas,_"she voiced quietly as if for confirmation.

Gingerly, she smoothed her hand over the tattered brown cover, silently acknowledging the evident age of this book.

Without delaying any longer, River delved into the ancient object, the musty smell of the paper arousing her senses as she took a cursory look.

From that brief glance, she got the impression that this was some sort of testament of the monks who lived back during the post-Medieval period of England, or possibly even a records index.

"Nothing terribly interesting though," she mused, her finger hovering over the words long enough to assess them properly. "Seems to be nothing major; well, I suppose monks are rather isolated, so why would the Old Girl have brought me to th—Oh!" Her breath caught for a moment and she did a double take, making sure she'd read correctly.

"That's a bit odd. 'A painting of a young woman was delivered to the Chapel of Saint John and placed into the collection of the nearby monastery. For years, little was known about it, until one day a mysterious stranger came along, curious about the woman in the painting. Though dressed in monk attire, he spoke with an odd tongue. He is said to have referred to her as 'the woman twice dead.' But he soon disappeared, thought to be an angel, a messenger from God; he flew away in a mysterious blue box and the sound of bells rippled through the corridors until the vessel was no more. It was as if the stranger had never been there at all.'" River's heart hammered in her chest at the vividness of that description. The identity of the stranger depicted was unmistakable. The Doctor. Her husband.

"The woman twice dead," River repeated to herself, suspecting that this was in fact a reference to Clara. "But what would a monastery be doing with a painting of Clara?" The question soared through her mind, and she pondered it as best she could, until her thoughts filled with a different inquiry. "So this means that the Doctor must have gone there at some point. But when? Certainly not now, he can't have gone there already, otherwise he wouldn't have come to me for help so soon…and how would he have known to go there…unless…" At that moment realization seemed to dawn on her. This book told of where the Doctor would go next. She had found the book; she was the key.

But how much could she tell her husband? The account was from his future and the last time a book had disclosed that sort of information it hadn't gone so well. Take her broken hand and her parents' death, for instance.

Not that this was anything in comparison to that. She was certain that the Doctor would turn up in a monastery dressed as a monk at some point without cause for potential universe implosion.

And more than likely it would happen quite soon. Which could only mean that—

" Have you found anything yet, dear?"

A voice rippled from behind, starling her out of her thoughts.

For a second, River found herself paralyzed, her head suddenly filled with images of the grotesque Doctor from her nightmares.

She jerked, dropping the old book she'd been examining.

"River? Are you alright? Sorry, didn't mean to startle you." River felt a familiar hand touch her shoulder.

Her green-tinged eyes met his briefly, and she tried to hide the trembling that had begun to ravage her body.

"Yes, of course I'm fine." A fake smile formed on her face.

"You sure? You look as if you've seen a ghost."

"No, no, just…just thinking I suppose…"

Gazing at her with that suspicious glint in his eye, the Doctor stared before deciding to let her be. He didn't want a repeat of the incident from a few days ago.

"Oh, and I think you dropped this!" He realized, carefully placing the fallen book in his wife's hands. "What'd you find in there?"

"Hmm. Nothing much. Just some records from the Chapel of Saint John. Rather dull to be honest." Chuckling lightly, River tried to steer clear of the matter.

"You know that the TARDIS probably had that archived on the database; you didn't actually have to look for a hard copy."

"What can I say? I may live in the 51st century but in some ways I'm an old-fashioned sort of girl."

"That you are, Professor Song. Well, besides maybe the high-tech guns…and other aspects…" He glanced at her nervously and she could see the slight blush forming in his cheeks. Coughing, the Doctor attempted to alleviate the awkward tension. "So…have you found anything else of use?" Her husband wondered, fingers scratching his cheek.

"Yes, actually quite a bit. Hang on." Pressing one of the keys on her PDA, River pulled up a long description onto the screen. "Let's see, I have a bit on Saint John; he was a Christian Evangelist who lived during the first century AD. There's plenty more on his life…but what's really interesting are the various buildings and organizations that share his name. Police boxes, well, anything associated with 'St John Ambulance' medical care. That organization originated in 1540 with the Order of Saint John, disbanded by King Henry VIII…"

"Ooh, Henry VIII…quite a ruthless bloke…did I ever tell you that your mother accidently got engaged to him on her anniversary and he came looking for her…we tried to hide under his bed, but I unfortunately sneezed…and…well, let's just say he was none too happy. Your father left his phone charger in Henry's ensuite. That was quite a day…" He trailed off, suddenly bereft at the memory of his best friends, River's parents; it had seemed so ridiculous at the time, but now he would have given anything to run rampant down those corridors hand in hand with the Ponds, fleeing hurriedly as the raging king taunted from behind. His hearts clenched painfully as he saw their daughter, his wife, standing right in front of him. He mentally cursed himself for bringing it up at all; perhaps he'd just got caught up in the moment.

Seeing the pained expression on River's face, the Doctor gulped. Him and his big mouth. He really needed to learn when to stop babbling.

"Sorry…I…I shouldn't have…I…"

But surprisingly enough, River didn't react too adversely; instead she entangled her fingers in his.

Pressing a light kiss to his temple, she whispered ever so softly into his ear. "I know it's hard for us both, Sweetie. You don't have to talk about them if it's too painful. But if you ever feel the need, I don't mind. Really." She squeezed his hand as if to reiterate her point.

"River…"

"Now let's go back to the computer I was using earlier…I have some other interesting info to share." With that, she began walking, hand still in her husband's, hoping he wouldn't ask about why she'd changed the subject so suddenly.

Thankfully, he didn't, although she could feel him assessing her; he may not have spoken his concerns aloud, but he could definitely get the sense that something was bothering River.

In a matter of minutes they were back at the front of the library, soon seated in chairs beside the holographic screen that River had been using for research.

"What else have we got? Oh yes, back to the whole 'St John Ambulance' bit. I was searching more on St John and I stumbled across this old nursery rhyme, 'Oranges and Lemons'…"

"Say the Bells of St. Clement's" The Doctor finished much to River's surprise.

"What? So you've heard it before?"

"Yes. Well, no. Well…This is the one with the chopper and a candle and all that at the end, right?"

"Indeed." River watched her husband visibly cringe at that. "Bad memories?"

"Yeah. You can imagine hearing that from a possessed and slightly creepy man strapped to a wheelchair in a near-death situation isn't exactly the most memorable of occasions. But that's not important…what about this rhyme stuck out to you?"

"A line about halfway through. 'Pokers and togs say the bells of St. John's.'"

"I'm assuming you understand the significance of that."

"Yes. It's referring to the Chapel of Saint John, which is the oldest church in London. It's located in the White Tower in the Tower of London, which of course was constructed between 1077 and 1097 AD. The 'Pokers and togs' reference is to the instruments of torture that were reputedly used on the Little Princes, Edward V and Richard, whose bodies were discovered there."

"Ugh…rather grim, I suppose."

"Children's rhymes almost always are."

"Well, human ones anyway. And in fairness, others I suppose. But what I really want to know is what does this have to do with anything?"

River couldn't help but glance briefly at the book she still clasped. She pondered telling him about what she'd read, but for various reasons decided against it. So she brought up another potential connection.

"I…I'm not entirely sure, but well, I was thinking that the Chapel of Saint John might have some sort of clues about Clara's whereabouts. Not to mention it's in London. Maybe that's also a hint to where she is now."

"She was in Victorian London so that isn't really a surprise."

"But it narrows it down doesn't it? London; maybe sometime after 1963…late 20th century?" It was a bit of a stretch to put all that together, but given the Doctor's past history it didn't really seem too unlikely.

"I still don't see how a bloody _chapel_ has to do with Clara." Confusion filled his tone and River had to stop herself from telling him something from his future right then and there.

_You can't tell him. Not directly anyway. He's going to have to figure out some of this on his own._

Her heart pounded at the thought; she realized that this was an indication that she'd soon have to leave him and go back to her life of stress and teaching and work. And with that always came the possibility that she'd never see this version of her husband again. Perhaps that was why she felt so hesitant to show him the book passage- she knew that if she did, he would have no need for her any longer. But maybe it was time.

"River?"

"Yes?"

"You just…looked a bit distant there…"

"Hmmm. You were saying?"

"I was just wondering what the chapel has to do with finding Clara."

"Well, have you got any better leads, Honey?" She sounded a bit irritated, but really more fatigued than anything else.

Feeling pressured to answer, the Doctor explained as best he could.

"Um…not exactly." He avoided meeting her eyes.

"Then what were you doing while I was researching all that time?"

"I was thinking. Speculating. Hypothesizing." His hands trudged through his hair and he started to move back and forth, an action that told her just how paranoid he was.

"Anything noteworthy?"

"I don't know. I can't stop thinking about what Clara always says to me every time she dies. 'Run you clever boy and remember.' Running isn't too difficult; I've been doing that my whole life. But the 'remember,' that's what really gets me. I don't think she's just talking about herself. Otherwise she'd say 'Remember _me_.' So what is it that she wants me to remember? Is it something specific or more general? It seems that lately I've been prone to forgetfulness…and that's quite alarming. I mean, the Great Intelligence was only _ringing a bell_ after I'd already fought it, and it took a lot of thought just to recall that I'd met it in my second body. I can't even remember the exact circumstances. I know I could look it up in the TARDIS' records, but that's not the point. I may be old, but I should be able to remember something like that. And the whole universe has forgotten I exist, even the Daleks, and I'm not complaining…but it doesn't it strike you as odd? Wh-Why can't I remember, River? What's happening to me?" his voice trembled towards the end of that statement and his wife saw genuine fear in his tear-filled eyes.

Pulling him into a tight hug, River pressed her face into his shoulder.

"Shhh. It'll be okay, my love. I don't think you should worry about it. We'll cross that road when we come to it, alright? If this _is_ happening to you, I'll be there to help. I can promise that. But maybe it's just that you've been traveling alone for too long. Once you find Clara, everything will improve. She'll reignite your love for adventure and mystery, and you'll see the universe again through her eyes. And you'll remember. I know you will." Her warm breath laced his ear as she whispered words of comfort.

Even then, River knew deep down that her husband's fears were not unjustified; as much as she tried to deny it she'd always suspected that the Silence had not finished with him, after all the First Question had yet to be answered, the Doctor's greatest secret had yet to be revealed, the battle that started the war against him in the first place had not yet happened and she dreaded that day with a burning passion. It was so uncertain, so terrifying; she didn't want to think about it. And neither did the Doctor.

Now was not the time to discuss this. Her husband had suffered enough with the loss of her parents, what he needed right now was not fear but _hope_.

Hope that would give him the strength to find Clara. Hope that only _she_ could give him.

"But what if I don't, River? What if I spend the rest of my life running about on my own and I never find Clara? What if I—"

Pressing her lips against his, the Doctor's wife kissed her husband curtly, running her fingers through his hair , clinging to him with a desperation, and trying to be his River, to drown out his worries and fears and make him just _be_. Make him forget it all if only for a fraction of a second.

Glowing warmth spread through her body and when she parted their mouths, she was relieved to see that he was now intently focused on _her_. Good. She'd prefer that to the alternative.

"I told you not to worry, okay?" River pleaded with him earnestly. "For once can you please just listen to me?"

"I'll try." He muttered truthfully, before leaning back in to kiss his wife. "Thank you."

His eyes stared straight into hers with that love, that intensity, that devotion, and she returned all of it in equal measure.

"Come on, Honey. It's been a long day." Wrapping her fingers loosely in his, she pulled him upward, leading him out of the library and into the silvery, trapezoidal shaped corridors.

And they walked hand in hand, the comforting hum of the TARDIS gracing their ears like a blissful melody.

* * *

Hours later, the curly haired woman awoke from her sleep, a feeling of great dread and intensity sweeping over her body. As hard as it was she had to accept the inevitable truth; it was time to leave her husband to search for Clara Oswald on his own. Her being here for even a day longer would be too distracting to him, whether he realized it or not. And she couldn't allow herself to get in the way of what she knew the Doctor needed more than anything.

But for a brief second she felt drawn to the Doctor; she marveled at those features she loved so much, vowing to memorize each one, so that when the day did come that she met a Doctor who didn't know her she could always picture her husband's peaceful face.

After listening to his quiet breathing, the repetitious rise and fall of his chest, she was able to confirm that he was asleep. And she was deeply thankful for that, as he rarely ever got any proper rest. He may have been a Time Lord, but River of all people knew that in reality that didn't mean a thing. Every once in a while the Doctor needed to sleep.

So what better chance to leave than now? Why not save them both the heartache of another painful goodbye and just let the Doctor be on his way to finding Clara?

Without a second thought, River Song got out of bed as quietly as she could, dressed as quickly as possible and set out to gather a few belongings before she left.

Her first trek was back to the library. Propping the door open, she soon wandered inside, returning the exact place she'd put the book she'd found.

_He's going to need to find this, but not just yet…Clara is his to find and I can only interfere so much._

Beside the book she saw some TARDIS blue stationary along with an ink pen. Odd, she didn't recall those being there before—oh, _of course_, this was the Old Girl's doing.

Using the pen, River wrote her husband a note for when he woke up, informing him of her whereabouts and her reasons for leaving when she did. He wasn't going to like that they hadn't said a proper goodbye, but River believed this was best for both of them. The non-confrontational approach.

She'd had a lovely few days with her husband and she wanted to end on a high not an argument.

Gathering the note and book, River tip-toed back into the bedroom.

She placed the tiny slip of blue paper on the bedside table right next to where he slept, planting a delicate kiss on his cheek and muttering a broken 'I love you,' before veering out into the hallway.

Soon enough, River ended up in the control room, and having done so, she propped the ancient book on the revamped console.

Looking at the Gallifreyan-lined circle that loomed from above, the child of the TARDIS spoke to her mother.

"Please, Old Girl, just make sure he gets this when the time is right. When he's so lonely and he's nearly given up, show him this book. Remind him that there is hope. And do whatever you can to help him find Clara." Her fingertips brushed the newly-added telepathic connection panel and she felt a warmth flooding into her body, as the TARDIS hummed in response.

"Thank you." She managed to say as the tears started to form in her eyes despite her efforts to remain strong.

With that, River Song trotted on towards the TARDIS doors, hoping against hope that she would be able to slip out at just the right moment—

"That's it? What's the matter with you?" His softly spoken words echoed what she'd said to him ages ago.

She stopped dead in her tracks, not daring to turn around.

"I cannot _believe_ you were seriously about to leave without giving your husband a proper goodbye. I don't want a note, River. I want you. In the flesh." Every hair on the back of her neck rose as he came closer.

His eyes beckoned her to face him and she had no choice but to oblige.

"Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?" his wavering voice cut right to her heart.

"I…I…I just…thought that I'd be easier this way." She flushed, feeling suddenly ashamed.

"Why now? Did I do something wrong?"

The pain stung a little more at the thought that he would even consider that.

"No, no, my love, of course not. These past few days have been wonderful. I haven't enjoyed myself this much…since…since before…Manhattan."

"Then stay. With me. Please." He was practically begging now, and this was exactly what she feared, she had to resist, she couldn't give in, no matter how much she wanted to.

"You know I can't."

"Why not?" He sounded mouse-like.

"Because I'm not what you need. I'm not a companion, Doctor. I'm your wife. I can't stare in complete awe of the universe the way _she_ will because I'm like _you_, I've seen so much, endured so much that I've become jaded to it. I can help you and love you all I want. But I can't give you that. I can't re-ignite your passion on my own. What you need is someone who has never seen it all, someone who you can impress, someone who you can change for the better. And that's not me. I've done all I can to help you, and I think we both know we've gotten as far as we can with the search for Clara. Now you need to take ownership of it. You need to find her. And it'll work out. You will find Clara. I know you will." Droplets skidded down her cheeks as she spoke the truth.

"You have such faith in me."

"Because you're my husband. And I love you and I trust you with everything and I would give my life for you. It's called marriage, Honey." A shot of pain swept through her heart as she remembered her mother's final words on the top of that building.

"But…I…I don't want…"

But she quickly shushed him, kissing her husband desperately and hungrily because for all she knew, this could be her last time.

She hoped he wouldn't notice, but, as ever, he did.

"What's wrong? Why are you acting like you'll never see me again?" The Doctor chocked; his voice cracking.

"Because…well…I…I…if this is the last time I see _this_ you, my husband…I want…I…" Her body trembled now and she cursed herself internally, why, why did she have to show him how much this was hurting her?

"Shhh." He pulled her back in, trying to match her fierceness, her passion. "River Song, don't be ridiculous. I'd say spoilers, but I know for a fact that you will see me again, so don't you think for a second that this is your last time with this me. We've still got some more running to do."

Kissing her one more, he tried to show her, to promise her, that this would not be the last.

He pressed his forehead to hers, lingering there for a few seconds, and then whispered those words he struggled so much to say.

"I love you, River." His fingers rubbed atop her palm soothingly.

"I love you, too." She replied, overcome with emotion all of a sudden. "You'll find Clara. And soon, I think."

"Hmm. Who knows? Maybe I'll be lucky. All this searching…maybe I'll just bump into her again…like…like…destiny," both of them knew that there was no such thing but neither had the heart to admit it.

"Maybe. But whatever happens, Doctor, you can't give up. You have to promise me…promise."

"I promise."

"Because you will find her. You do. I know that for a fact, too." Cupping his cheek, she bent into to give him a lingering kiss, which he held for a few moments longer.

"Thank you. For everything."

"You are very, very welcome. It was the least I could do."

"Take care of yourself. Don't work too hard. Make sure you get a good night's rest."

"Will do, husband. You take care of yourself too."

"Will do, wife. Now I'll be seeing you again soon. Don't you worry, River. When I find Clara, I'll make sure she gets a chance to meet the wife… properly anyway."

"I look forward to it." Came her honest answer. She'd do anything to see him happy and lively again.

" 'Til the next one, eh?" He managed a smile.

"Yeah. Whenever and wherever you want." River pressed her lips to his cheek and turned towards the doors.

"I won't be too long, I promise. Love you." Her husband stressed the last two words.

"Love you too. See you next time, Honey." With that, River Song slipped out of the TARDIS and into her apartment, leaving her husband in his blue box.

"Can't wait," was the last thing that left his lips before he went to pilot his ship, hands deftly maneuvering over the various levers and controls as the TARDIS whirred and chirred the way his wife secretly adored (though she'd never admit it), flinging him into the vast and endless sea that was called space.

"Right then, Clara Oswald. Time to find out who you are."

* * *

**Note: Sorry, I couldn't resist. And yes that line rightfully belongs to Steven Moffat and we will probably be hearing it again. Anyway I hope this ending made sense. I wanted to leave it pretty open, so that it's relatively consistent with canon based on what we know so far. **

**Only one more day to go until **_**The Bells of Saint John**_**! Hope you all enjoy the episode:) **

**Please take this time to leave a review.**

**Have a spectacular day! **


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